Beautiful Men

Today, I learned what real beautiful men look like. They don't look, actually. What's gorgeous about them, is not how they look, but how they act. How they carry themselves. The things they say. And most importantly, how it all fits together.

I spent the day with three incredible young men; a senior, a junior, a sophomore, and me -- a freshman. It was not their physique that attracted me to them, for they are nothing remarkable. It is instinctive to immediately assess this aspect, which is a truly awful habit. It was instead how their expressions fit their words, and they use their hands and arms to emphasize the witty things flowing from their lips. Every time I laughed, every time they smiled and chuckled along, I felt this feeling in my chest. I physical feeling. It's incredible, like riding a roller coaster. I was in love.

Not the kind of love we sing in our songs. Not romantic attraction, but just an incredible joy that comes with being in their presence. Charlie's eyes, so wide and full of meaning, stopped my heart every time I looked into them. Matt's body, large and expressive. Trey's tousled hair and rueful grin were heartwarming. Yet I have no desire of romance. That, is the way of genuine love.

Now, this attraction is not physical, you say? It is not the fact that the boys have these characteristics about them, but the fluency with which they fit their nature. For example, Charlie talks with his eyes. When he tells a joke, his eyes get large and innocent, and when he laughs, they scrunch up to an impossibly small size. Matt's words are so soft and gentle, creating a naturally menacing aura, to become calm and warm. Trey has a nip to his words, and when he tears into someone, his smile always reassures a good time. I feel relaxed and at home in the company of these men, a feeling rarely experienced in the company of girls my age.

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Tom Hanks is a handsome man, agreed? Even as he ages, he retains his youth exceedingly well. Still, age catches up to everyone. Yet, as Trey says, "Hey, stop complaining. Your husband won't be nearly as hot as Tom Hanks." He has a point. It's not that I will eventually fall in love with an ugly man, but that what he looks like doesn't matter. My husband will not be physically divine, an idea that is easy to entertain at this age. For a moment, it's sad that I will not have a godly man to gaze at everyday, but in the next moment, I realize that that's okay, because it doesn't matter.

Movies poison us, absolutely trick us, into thinking that our soul mate is perfect -- everything we imagine, perfect in mind, body, and nature. But it's absolute bullshit. Everyone has problems and struggles, and a couple's ability to overcome them is what defines them. Not what they look like, not how easy they are to gaze at. But how one another feels when they are in the company of the other.

I felt alive like I never have before with these young men, my friends. I know that as I grow and mature, I will have many boyfriends and suiters. But the most unbreakable bond -- the one untested by romance -- is that of a true friend. At times during the day, the feeling in my chest grew and grew until I felt it would burst with love. It is the best feeling in the world; a drug that one cannot recover from. I want it more, and I'm planning to hit up again, tomorrow. Today is just one day, and I wonder what joys tomorrow will hold.